Some Things I'd Like to Complain About [the first world addition]

I'm  I am keenly, keenly aware that I lead a uniquely blessed life. For starters, I'm a young, single, adult living in the 21st century with a supportive family, and a college degree.  This means I'm one of the few women who's ever existed on this planet that has had the privileged to essentially do whatever the f*%K I want. And with my decision to move to Tokyo, I'm doing just that.This ability to do whatever I want is one of many things on the "list of shit I'm grateful for" including a steady income, roof over my head, healthy body, thoughtful & caring friends and family, just to name a few. We all know being grateful is healthy and helps give us perspective when thing get a bit bumpy... but to be honest, sometimes it feels good to revel in self-pity, and the beginning of this week, I did just that.

To set the stage a bit, getting over here to Japan was an emotional/logistical nightmare. I mean this in the "OMG the traffic on the way home today was a nightmare" sense, not the "living through political despotism, famine, and financial instability was a nightmare" sense. Negotiating my contract extended into a two month processes that bred a fair deal of discontent on both sides, and even once those details were ironed out, the laborious process of actually moving to a foreign country took over. As it stands, I'm still waiting on my visa to come through, which means no bank account, no health insurance, no cell phone plan, and no way to lease my own apartment. For the first week, the excitement actually being in Tokyo had me DGAFing about these "details". However, a month in, the stress of it has really begun to sink in. 

Since le company had anticipated my visa being processed within a week of my arrival in Japan, the original plan only had me in corporate housing (the word "corporate housing" alone sheds light on how diva a situation this is) for 3 weeks until I could find a place of my own. Unfortunately, 4 weeks in, I'm still visa-less and legally unable to sign a lease. Furthermore, news came that my visa will take at least another month to process, if not longer. 

Last week, with my move out date of June 15th fast approaching and my visa no where insight, a mad scramble for housing ensued during which it was suggested I pay for and live in an Airbnb while awaiting my residency card. Nothing against Airbnb, but after your company asks you to move to foreign country before your paperwork is complete, your response to "why not pay for an Airbnb for a few months until this bureaucratic 'process' works itself out" is "hell.fucking.no." And by "hell.fucking.no." I mean I begrudgingly agreed to do so while internally building up feelings of extreme resentment and anger  (cite previous nightmare with contract negotiations/my internal disposition to try to please anyone and everyone around me) .

Luckily, I work with some truly amazing, compassionate people who put employee care before all else, and I was moved into another corporate apartment to wait out my visa. Unluckily, because of the last minute nature of these arrangements, there were no places available for a full month, which means I, and all my belongings, will move to yet another corporate apartment in two weeks time. Moreover, the place I'm in currently is pretty gross, i.e. weird stains on the bed sheets (don't worry bought new one's and replaced them) and an overall layer of grim/cigarette smell throughout the whole apartment. I've hesitated to unpack given the grossness and how soon I'll be moving, which has lead to piles of clothes everywhere and a mess so extensive that it begins to trespass physical/mental boundaries, causing chaos and discontent within both apartment and psyche....

...okay, so that was mostly just me wanting to use some flowery language. But, in all honesty, at the beginning of this week the transiency, and the dirtiness, and the griminess, and the uncertainty, and the moving 2 ginormous suit cases and 3 heavy boxes all by myself really started to get to me. It got to me in a way that made feeling pathetic and sorry for myself feel good. It made it so I was almost happy that the translucent brown stain on the bed forced me to sleep on the floor, on a towel, because that let me feel even more sorry for myself. Somehow, the in-your-face-shittiness of the situation justified the thing I had previously been unwilling to allow myself to acknowledge - that moving here is scary for me. (*ding dong* ya idiot) 

Anyway, after a good night of crying myself to sleep on the floor of my (actually fairly nice) apartment, I woke up less tired and more mentally capable of appreciating how incredible things are right in my life right now. Both here and at home I have friends, coworkers, and family who have been and continue to be selflessly supportive of me. I get to work on a client I'm that I'm excited about with a smart, innovative, compassionate team of people. I've had the pleasure of meeting new friends, friends-of-friends, friends-of-family and learning that there are some people with whom I'm glad not to be friend with (yeah, I'm looking at you @Abe from Tinder). I eat what is probably some of the greatest food on earth everyday, and for the first time in my life, I live in a city that inspires me to my very soul. So, while egocentric self pity can feel good at times, it feels even better to be at peace with the fact that to some extent, I'm scared of being here. Gratitude, excitement and fear are not mutually exclusive, and in many cases, it's probably the scary situations that inspire excitement and expose reasons for gratitude.

Well, I really didn't start this with the intention of being that emotionally reflective. Originally, I planned on just a bullet pointed list of all the crap I wanted to complain about. As Chrissy Teigen once wrote in an Instagram caption, "that's as deep as my sarcastic heart can go." 

Byeeeeee,

India 

PS HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD!!! I'd write more but after 40+ years of Father's Days, you gotta know you're a pretty darn good dad. 

PPS still riding the one post a week train weeeee